students are walking by a storefront and see a sign that reads:
Suits $5.00 each; shirts $2.00 each; trousers $2.50 per pair. Bubba says to his pal, "Billy Ray, Look! We could buy a whole lot of those, and when we get back to Kentucky, we could make a fortune. Now when we go into the shop, you be quiet, okay? Just let me do all the talking cause if they hear our accent, they might not be nice to us. I'll speak in my best Texas drawl voice."
They go in and Bubba says, "I'll take 50 suits at $5.00 each, 100 shirts at $2.00 each, and 50 pairs of trousers at $2.50 each. I'll back up my pickup and ....."
The owner of the shop interrupts, "You're from Kentucky, aren't you?" "Well...yes," says a surprised Bubba. "How come you know that?"
The owner says, "This is a dry-cleaners."
| A Charlotte, NC, lawyer
purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then insured
them against fire among other things.
Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars and without yet having made even his first premium payment on the policy, the lawyer filed claim against the insurance company.
In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost "in a series of small fires." The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason: that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion.
The lawyer sued....and won!
In delivering the ruling the Judge agreed with the insurance company that the claim was frivolous. The Judge stated nevertheless, "That the lawyer held a policy from the company in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire, without defining what is considered to be unacceptable fire," and was obligated to pay the claim.
Rather than endure lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000.00 to the lawyer for his loss of the rare cigars lost in the "fires."
NOW FOR THE BEST PART... After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him arrested on 24 counts of ARSON!!!!
With the lawyer's own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000.00 fine.
This is a true story and was the 1st place winner in the recent Criminal Lawyers Award Contest.
|Things I learned after a hurricane: (A friend in
Florida shared this one) sent in by George Wilson:
* Coffee and frozen pizzas can be made on a BBQ grill.
* Your water front property can quickly become someone else's
* I can walk a lot farther than I thought.
I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult. I have decided I would like to accept the responsibilities of an 8 year-old again.
I want to go to McDonald's and think that it's a four star restaurant.
I want to sail sticks across a fresh mud puddle and make a sidewalk with rocks.
I want to think M&Ms are better than money because you can eat them.
I want to lie under a big oak tree and run a lemonade stand with my friends on a hot summer's day.
I want to return to a time when life was simple, when all you knew were colors, multiplication tables, and nursery rhymes,
I want to think the world is fair.
That everyone is honest and good.
I want to believe that anything is possible.
I want to be oblivious to the complexities of life and be overly excited by the little things again.
I want to live simple again.
I don't want my day to consist of computer crashes, mountains of paperwork, depressing news, how to survive more days in the month than there is money in the bank, doctor bills, gossip, illness, and loss of loved ones.
I want to believe in the power of smiles, hugs, a kind word, truth, justice, peace, dreams, the imagination, mankind, and making angels in the snow.
So . . . here's my checkbook and my car keys, my credit card bills and my 401K statements. I am officially resigning from adulthood.
And if you want to discuss this further, you'll have to catch me first, cause........
....."Tag! You're it."