My daughter asked me one time, "Daddy, before you married Mommy, who told you how to drive?"
Frantic man on phone: "My wife is pregnant, her contractions are
only two minutes apart!"
Sign on a local Blockbuster video store: "Gift Certificates - For when you care enough to shop at the last minute."
Wife to husband returning home from a party: "Have I ever told
you how handsome, sexy and irresistible to women you are?"
My husband accused me of loving our dog more than I love him. I told him not to be ridiculous. I love them both the same.
Two men walked into a bar.
You know what the problem with a lot of people is? Overpopulation.
Rule of thumb for evaluating computer technology: If it works, its obsolete.
Q. How do you scare a man?
Q. Where is the best place in a book store to find a man who is
handsome, a good lover and a stimulating partner?