A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you

A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.

Anyone who thinks old age is golden must not have had a very exciting youth

How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teen-ager who wants to stay out all night?

Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.

Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?

Scratch a dog and you'll find a permanent job.

No one has more driving ambition than the boy who wants to buy a car.

There are no new sins....the old ones just get more publicity.

There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 AM. It could be a right number.

Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail.

One of the quickest ways for a young man to fail in life is to work so hard the boss will think he's after his job.

A backyard barbecue draws two things....flies and relatives.

The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.

If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably don't have any sense at all.

Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.

You know you're old when you reach down to get the wrinkles out of your panty hose and realize you aren't wearing any.

I've reached the age where the happy hour is a nap.