I've been in hard times for many years now. I have learned to work around limitations.

 

For instance, most of our Christmas will be paid for with food stamps. I go out and shop for different things that we could not afford on a regular basis, so they are special treats. I look especially for things from different cultures, like sheep-milk cheese imported for Italy, pickled cactus (South-Western Hispanic culture), German sausage, a yeast spread made in Australia, quail eggs, and other exotic stuff. I also buy some basics to go with these treats, such as wheat crackers for the cheeses and chips for the dips. On Christmas day, we open all the bottles, jars, cans, and boxes and we have a tasting party. We don't always all like everything we try, but some things become repeat treats to be enjoyed year after year.

 

Not many years ago, I didn't even know how to drive. I had to bum rides from everyone. I found ways to thank people with small gifts of hand-crafted items, or with services. When I had money, I would insist on filling the gas tank. When I didn't, I might offer some service like a bit of babysitting or doing hand washing, or cooking a meal for someone busy.

 

I will check around for good churches in Hubert. I cannot recommend the one I used to attend, as I was not the only one who found problems. Obviously, you need transportation to church, so I'll include that in the questions I ask. Do you have any denomination preference?

 

I wonder what caregivers are supposed to do now with WFFA? I should think that when there is a situation like yours, with a child who needs constant supervision and a dare-giver who understands the special needs, that you ought to be able to get some kind of financial help without a requirement to "work." Besides that, I find it insulting that they don't count any self-help as work. What do they think, that washing dishes and mopping floors is fun? That growing vegetables the old fashioned way is a hobby one can enjoy from one's easy chair? That hanging clothes out on the line, on hot summer days, is something we would for pleasure?

 

There are a lot of things we can do for self-help. If you would like to garden, start now saving all your vegetable scraps and apple cores, etc. You need a compost heap to make good garden soil. Compost is cheaper than buying fertilizers and it gives a better tasting product. Do some research on the internet about composting.

 

You don't have to do a lot of digging to have a vegetable garden. Although I say I do it the old fashioned way, I don't ignore improved techniques that have a non-technological basis. I like a technique called "Lasagna gardening." It is done by layering good compostable materials right where you want to plant. The layers smother the weeds and grass, and the mounding up makes it easier to tend your food-producing plants.

 

A garden does not need to be a large plot with a lot of different plants. It can be just a tomato plant in a big planter on a patio. It can be a little bit of fresh lettuce in a shoe-box on a window sill -- in the middle of winter! It can be a little something extra in the flower bed. It can be a small patch of edibles in a corner of the yard near a water source. It could even be beautiful flowering vines climbing a trellis or it could be a few berry bushes or an apple tree. It could even be a crab apple tree! It could be a small cluster of herbs, indoors or out. It could be edible flowers.

 

I can tell you more about gardening another time if you are interested.

 

Have you considered working from home? You might have skills that are marketable via the internet, by mail, or telecommuting. There is always a need for a good secretary, and the demand for virtual assistants is on the increase. If you have any experience as a nurse or medical receptionist, you have a jump start on the medical transcription business. I knew at least one woman who earned a decent living doing that. Almost any kind of expertise has a potential for a work-from-home career. Then there are the different sales jobs, like Tupperware, Mary Kay, Discovery Toys, and so on.

 

Maybe you think the home-party jobs are impossible without a car. I was a Tupperware dealer for awhile when I had no car and didn't drive. I would arrange with my hostess to provide transportation, or occasionally, I'd get a ride with one of the guests. I had my kit all carefully organized to take very little space. To the person who provided my ride, I would give a hostess gift, something nifty and useful that was not offered for sale. These days, you can also sell Tupperware from a website, with catalog parties, and in other ways. If someone wants to send a Tupperware gift, it can be shipped directly to the recipient from the factory or warehouse, at no extra cost to the gift-giver. Other home-party companies have similar benefits to increase sales.

 

 

For your daughter, there may be some kind of respite care. Or there may be someone is familiar with autism who is willing to help a little. You might find some help through public health. I know there are social workers in this county who go out to check up on retarded people -- so why not public health workers who can spend time with autistic children?

 

Rose B, mother of three, in NC