Heaven

A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead. He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for a few years. He wondered where the road was leading them.

After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road. It looked like fine polished marble. At the top of a hill, there was a huge arch that glowed in the sunlight. When he was standing before the arch, he saw the magnificent pearly gate. The street that led to the gate looked to be made of solid gold. Everything inside the gate was shinny and clean.

He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a large stainless steel desk. When he was close enough, he called out, "Excuse me, where are we?"

"This is Heaven, sir," the man answered.

"Wow! Would you happen to have some water?" the man asked.

"Of course, sir. Come in. I'll have some water sent up." The gate began to open.

"Can my friend," gesturing toward his dog, "come in, too?" the traveler asked.

"I'm sorry, sir, but we don't allow pets."

The man thought a moment. Then he turned back to the road and continued the way he had been going with his dog.

After another long walk, and at the top of another hill, he came to a sunken country lane which led through a rusty old farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed. There was no fence. There were huge old oak trees, and fields of green grass, and meadows with wild flowers growing, and streams with trout jumping, and the smell of the outdoors. As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book.

"Excuse me!" he called to the reader. "Do you have any water?"

"Yeah, sure, there's a well pump over there, come on in."

"How about my friend here?" the traveler gestured to the dog.

"There should be a bowl by the pump." They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old hand pump with a bowl beside it.

The traveler took a long drink and filled the bowl for the dog. After they drank, the man and his dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree. "What do you call this place?" The traveler asked.

"This is Heaven," he answered.

"Well, that's confusing," the traveler said. "The man down the road said that was Heaven, too."

"Oh, you mean the place with the pearly gate and the gold street? Nope. That's Hell."

"Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?"

"No... we're just happy that they take in the folks who would leave their best friend behind."