18 Things We Can Learn from a Dog

1.      Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joy ride.
2.      Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.
3.      When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.
4.      When it's in your best interest, practice obedience.
5.      Let others know when they've invaded your territory.
6.      Take naps, and stretch before rising.
7.      Run, romp, and play daily.
8.      Eat with gusto and enthusiasm.
9.      Be loyal.
10.     Never pretend to be something you're not.
11.     If what you want is buried, dig until you find it.
12.     When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by, and nuzzle him or h er gently.
13.     Thrive on attention and let people touch you.
14.     Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.
15.     On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.
16.     When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body.
17.     Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.
18.     No matter how often you're scolded, don't buy into the guilt thing and pout... run right back and make friends. 

 
When I Got My New Dog
   
   I asked for strength that I might rear her perfectly;
   I was given weakness that I might feed her more treats.
   
   I asked for good health that I might rest easy;
   I was given a "special needs" dog that I might know nurturing.
   
   I asked for an obedient dog that I might feel proud;
   I was given stubbornness that I might feel humble.
   
   I asked for compliance that I might feel masterful;
   I was given a clown that I might laugh.
   
   I asked for a companion that I might not feel lonely;
   I was given a best friend that I would feel loved.
   
   I got nothing I asked for,
   But everything that I needed.
   
   Author Unknown
   
   ------------------------
   
   A Dog's Soul
   
   Every dog must have a soul, somewhere deep inside
   Where all his hurts and grievances are buried with his pride.
   
   Where he decides the good and bad, the wrong way from the right,
   And where his judgment carefully is hidden from our sight.
   
   A dog must have a secret place, where every thought abides,
   A sort of close acquaintance that he trusts in and confides.
   
   And when accused unjustly for himself, He cannot speak,
   Rebuked, He finds within his soul, the comfort he must seek.
   
   He'll love, tho'he is unloved, and he'll serve tho'badly used,
   And one kind word will wipe away the times when he's abused.
   
   Altho' his heart may break in two, his love will still be whole,
   Because God gave to every dog an understanding Soul!
   
   Author Unknown
   
   ------------------------
   
   A Dog Owners' Prayer
   
   Oh Lord, don't let me once forget how I love my trusty pet.
   Help me learn to disregard canine craters in my yard.
   Show me how to be a buddy even when my sofa's muddy.
   Don't allow my pooch to munch postal carriers for lunch.
   Shield my neighbor's cat from view--guide my steps around the doo.
   Train me not to curse and scowl when it's puppy's night to howl.
   Grant I shan't awake in fear with a cold nose in my ear.
   Give me patience without end--help me be my dog's "best friend".
   
   Author Unknown

How Many Dogs Does It Take to Change A Light Bulb?

1.  Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?

2.  Border Collie: Just one.  And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.
3.  Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!
4.  Rottweiler: Make me.
5.  Boxer: Who cares?  I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.
6.  Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh?  Huh?  Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!
7.  German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I've led these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one more
perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.
8.  Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture.
9.  Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb.
10.  Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.
11.  Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb.
12.  Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there ...
13.  Greyhound: It isn't moving.  Who cares?
14.  Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle ...
15.  Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.

The Cat's Answer: "Dogs do not change light bulbs, people change light bulbs.  So, the real question is: How long will it be before I can expect some light, some dinner, and a massage?"

ALL OF WHICH PROVES, ONCE AGAIN, THAT WHILE DOGS HAVE MASTERS, CATS HAVE STAFF.
 ---------------------------------------------------
What is a Dog?

 1.  Dogs spend all day sprawled on the most comfortable piece of furniture in the house.
 2.  They can hear a package of food opening half a block away, but don't hear you when you're in the same room.
 3.  They can look dumb and lovable all at the same time.
 4.  They growl when they are not happy.
 5.  When you want to play, they want to be alone.
 6.  When you want to be alone, they want to play.
 7.  They leave their toys everywhere.
 8.  They do disgusting things with their mouths and then try to give you a kiss.
 9.  They go right for your crotch as soon as they meet you.

CONCLUSION: They're tiny men in little fur coats