02

Kitting Up Part II

There are always things one leaves out with topics such as this. I'm sure I've thought of many things in the past week, and now I cannot remember a single one of them! So I cannot yet update Kitting Up Part I. Botheration!

So - on to Part II!

You will need a basic driveway, and don't think you won't if you don't have a vehicle. Access is always needed for other vehicles ranging from emergency (especially if there is a fire or an accident) to delivery. Get it right first time. I can almost guarantee that the one time you're really in a hurry is the one time that the driveway has been washed away by heavy rain and no guttering. Check your local climate BEFORE YOU MOVE. If you get average precipitation over 40mm/month, make sure you have an all-weather driveway. Even if you don't, get one anyway, because even deserts have flash flooding.

Buckets, you will always need buckets. Hoses, with interchangeable fittings, strong types of both. Tools: good quality, not the type that bends if you give it a cross look. A mattock, a spade, a shovel, a hammer (claw, in preference), a saw, a hoe, a lawnmower (not just a goat or a sheep), a screwdriver set (flat and Phillip's head), cordless are brilliant, but only if you have facilities to recharge, drill and drill set, same as for screwdriver set, pruning shears, axe and tomahawk, spanners of various sizes, pliers x 2, so that you can hold two ends of wire and twist as needed, a good ladder, preferably aluminium, fold-up, lock in place with good quality rubber feet. Obey the safety directions on ladders. You're a grown-up now, and aware that "Do not stand on top rung" is not there to spoil your fun. Rake and broom, dustpan and small broom. A variety of nails, screws, padlocks with keys, bolts, gates, bits of wire in various diameters, clamps, staple and staple gun, glue gun, Sometimes, you can alternate in emergencies, like using the tomahawk head as a makeshift hammer, but this is not recommended. It is too easy to damage tools, yourself and anything else that happens to be in the vicinity.

Fencing. Keeps unwelcomes out and welcomes in. If you are going to get ANY animals, check your fencing. Now, check it again. 'Coz I can guarantee you that in the middle of a stormy night, your animal of choice is going to go AWOL through your wonderful fence. Make it stronger/higher/deeper than you think you will need. Also, don't go on your own advice, get the advice of different people who have the same beasties. More than one opinion will assist you in having peace of mind. Get your fencing done BEFORE you get your animals. There's nothing worse than giving in to temptation at the Saleyards/petshop/Market and coming home thinking, "Now where am I going to put this unicorn? I ran out of cardboard boxes with the griffin last week. And paper bags are no good, the dragon ate them."

Food for livestock. You can go four ways with the edibles: pay through the nose and get the top notch stuff; scrounge for stuff from various local outlets; go herbal with someone like de Baircli Levy, which can also be expensive; try and grow all of your own.

Naturally, you can use bits and pieces of these ideas. You must work within the constraints of budget, time and outlook. Whatever works for you and you can afford, so long as you and the critters are healthy, that's really all that matters. Oh, you'd better find a way of getting rid of the waste products too. From the bags the food came in, to the not-always-the-fertiliser-of-choice out the other end of the four/two-leg/fin.

Water. Where are you going to get enough? Are you hooked into mains, do you have access to perpetual running, pure? If you have water lying around, have it tested before you drink it. People still die of water poisoning, and, to give you an example, our rain-water is undrinkable because of the powdered milk floating through the air, landing on our roof, being washed down and sitting and putrefying in our tank. Yum, yum. But the animals can handle it quite well, and it's the only time I've ever seen dogs get fat drinking water on a daily basis.

Safety and fire fighting gear. Try not to bleed indoors. It's rare that bright splashes of red blend in with your current colour scheme, and old rust-brown does not co-ordinate well. Bleed, if you must, on a nearby choko (chayote) plant, they are very hungry and will delight in the fresh blood, even if there is no bone to go with the mess.

Seriously, though, keep clean towels, first aid kit, hoses and working pump nearby. If you can afford insurance, more power to you.

An outside shower is an absolute gift, and wonderful if you desire to really muck in. Literally.

Appropriate clothing: now this may sound like gilding the lily, but from my point of view you cannot even begin to start unless you are dressed appropriately. We have a messy yard, especially when it rains, so rubber boots are a necessity. Long-sleeved tops, strong trousers that won't tear or catch, good, well-fitting rubber gloves, as well as leather ones for tough farm work, such as fencing, and a good hat, preferably with fly screen. The hat must guard against the suns rays hitting your face, and a pair of sunglasses would not go amiss. If you operate anything in the way of power tools that have things flying out, or actinic lighting from welding, for Heaven's sake, wear the appropriate safety equipment.

If you are starting from scratch, PLAN NOW. Think about access to everything. I cannot recommend too highly Mollison and Holmgren's Permaculture books, and the way they put everything into zones for ease of use. Crops, animals, wildlife, weekend farming, what are you deciding to do with your land?

Write it down, bring it out every so often, whether monthly, biennially, whatever, so that you remind yourself why you are where you are. Put down the reason(s) why you left where you were before. It's good motivation. Also update. "Those who do not learn from history are forever condemned to repeat its mistakes." And to stagnate is to die, so work out what you want to do and how you will do it. Budget, time planning, tool planning, each has its role to play.

Shedding. Not fur or hair, but buildings, known also as outbuildings. The ones I like best are the Shaker barns built with a berm of earth around one side so that animals can be driven into the main entrance and hay or fodder driven into the top entrance, which lowers the energy input hugely. Make sure that whatever you build will stand the test of time, weather and local authorities, some of who get narky about putting up a cubby house for your children.

It MUST be leakproof. Alice and I spent over an hour a couple of days ago shovelling out pig excreta as Bess and the piglets' sty had flooded when we had an overnight downpour of around 40mm. The drainage had blocked as we use sawdust for bedding for the sow and piglets. Alice was an hour late for school, but the animals come first, and I didn't want them spending another night sleeping in the rain. Just in case we lose them through a chill. When you concrete the floor, give it a slope heading to drainage. Make sure your drainage is good. Make sure it is legal. See if you can re-use the stuff in your garden, on your crops, wherever. Don't forget some societies use cattle dung for building house walls. Always an option if you can!

Oh, one of those things that I thought about in the interim, that I should have mentioned last time: composting toilets. Why waste perfectly good drinking water if you can do without? Check with your local government authority, but they are now more and more accepting of such alternative technology.

Make sure that you have a dog if you can, preferably two. They treat you as leader of the pack, and are wonderful at backing you up when you need it. Even if they are watch midgets like daschunds. Daschunds are excellent ratters, by the way, and now Caution has taken to killing sparrows. More power to her, I say. They are also good company, and very forgiving. They are happy when you are happy, commiserating when your latest experiment has not worked. Love you when you cannot love yourself. Have them desexed unless you intend to breed. It will solve a lot of problems. Registration will probably be cheaper, too.

You'll have to find a way to get rid of your garbage, even the most experienced and green of us will have some rubbish. You'll need to check out mains power, water, sewage and postal. Telephones are handy for reading stuff like this and for emergencies. Especially for emergencies.

When you have worked out what type of smallholding you are going to have, you will need to work out what larger, specialised tools you will need. Don't go for a ride-on mower unless you really do have a small amount of lawn and that's it. Get a tractor. Do a Greenacre's Eddie Albert. Do you need a saw bench? If you intend cutting a lot of wood yourself, it would be invaluable. What about mowers, slashers, smudgers, rakes and balers? Tractors are safer with roll bars. Do you need a truck or 4WD? Farm bike or trike? Cherry picker? Again, ask around. Be wary of get rich quick schemes, as there are people out there who turned out to be dumber than ostriches are reputed to be, at least in that area.

Do you have a hobby? "All work and no play..." You will need to interact with other humans as well. It's good for you. Trust me when I tell you this. Face to face is better than computer chat. Besides, you never know when you can help someone or they may be able to help you.

Now, you may be wondering why I keep harping on safety. If you a part of a partnership (husband and wife, whatever), and you die or have an accident that leaves you unable to assist, I can guarantee you that no insurance in the World will provide enough income to make up for the loss of you. And, unless you are very heavily masochistic, why hurt yourself, when, with a little planning and care, you can be safe? Even though he wasn't hurt, but working away from home, I would have given a lot to have Brian helping me clean out the pig sty the other day. God made us to work together, like fingers and thumbs.

Aussie Translations

A Tomahawk or an Axe is a Hatchet…

A Spanner Set is a set of Open-Ended Wrenches…

A Mattock is a Pick Axe ...

A Smudger... "It's basically a bar pulled behind the tractor that evens out the cow pats so that there are not great lumps in the paddock and the 'fertiliser' is spread evenly."

A Slasher is a mower or a cutter. On BIG tractors it would be called a harvester attachment.