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or more whilst we catch valuable shut-eye, but when he does get up, they get fed before he does. Mind you, that doesn't stop them all from complaining like an off-tune operetta every time they see one of us. Or sometimes even the dogs. See, the pigs are smart enough to realise that if the dogs are out of the back jungle and prowling around their area, at least one of us must be too.

Thankyou for the very kind response to my query about paragraphing. You readers are so encouraging, whether in ones and twos or in multiples. You have no idea of how a quick e-mail jotted off to those who write the Articles is received! We are so appreciative.

While I'm at the kudos - a big thanks to Arlene, who is always very quick to praise me (especially for my poems), and to let me know when something strikes a chord. Arlene is a wonderful, caring lady, and postcards she has been caring enough to send to Alice are around the walls of our Study as I write. Thanks again, Arlene.

We have some new inmates at the Heavenly Hovel - one very ugly drake that I've called Rufous, because of the red face he has. Now, I love ducks. Prefer them to almost any other fowl. But this one would stop a truck. Ugly in face, ugly in disposition - such a bully! But the geese are sorting him out, thankfully, and he is beginning to mind his Ps & Qs.

The other newcomers are three new ducks who look nice and act so as well. All four are freebies, so I shouldn't complain at all. Shame on me. The new ducks were checked out thoroughly by the resident quackers, and found to be interesting, and they were hanging out like surfers at Waikiki when it rains. I let them out today, two days after getting them (this does not include Rufous, who decided to get out that same night, little beggar! And I had Aaron and some visitors chasing him trying to re-pen the little darlin'. Humph!). The residents quackers promptly behaved in that fashion that makes farmyards famous for teaching children about the birds and the bees.

Thankfully, they have all settled down now. I'm so glad the bedroom is up at the other end of the house!

Now, if things went well, you will probably see the latest photographs! The Christmas tree ones are self-explanatory. I had promised them to you, and today I took down the tree, so it was none too soon.

As to the others, well... we had a most exciting visitor - an echidna (ee-kid-nah) or spiny anteater. One of only two egg-laying mammals in the world (the other is the platypus, which the folks back in Britain thought was a skillfully sewn-together hodge-podge of other animals, when specimens were first sent back in the 18th Century!), they are our version of the hedge-hog, but nowhere near as dangerous. They do get ticks, and the spines are sharp, don't get me wrong about that, but they are very, very shy creatures, who burrow their way out of trouble whenever they can.

This one was first spotted by Nathan, and it was apparently in the paddock underneath one of the big baths. Next, I saw it trying to burrow into the shadehouse. Brian undermined it with a shovel (carefully, of course) and we put it into a crate and took it inside to show Alice who had just gone to bed. I took it back out to the fruit orchard. That's where we took the pictures of the dogs having a sniff and hoping that the spines would all drop off, because they were both sure it was something that should be attacked, on principal.

Next thing I know (the next night) it had managed to get back into the shadehouse, and the dogs were really excited about the possibilties of actually being able to surround and overcome it successfully, which idea was promptly routed by Mother putting a large steel plate over the entrance to the shade house.

The next day, I heart the tooting of horns and immediately mentally blamed the geese. It wasn't them. It was the echidna, crossing the road to greener pastures (and less hassles, no doubt). He made it over successfully, and I have no idea as to his whereabouts.

Tuesday morning, our poor Garbo (Trash collector) was running late. He almost missed our bin, and reversed up to have it seized by the large jaws on the side of the truck made for hoisting up bins. Unfortunately, there was a bloke driving a car just behind him at the time, and like the Titanic and the iceberg, neither realised collision was imminent.

We were snuggling up to each other when we heard the crash. Strangely enough, it woke neither Alice nor Mum, but we thought we'd better go out and see if assistance needed rendering. Thankfully, no-one was hurt. The car was not happy. Neither was the slightly in-shock driver.

We have been sadly lacking in the bread department, but thankfully, the shortfall has been somewhat been made up by some old Vitabrits, bricks of wheat breakfast cereal. God is good.

We are finally beginning to get passionfruit on the vine, which we thought was entirely feral. Here's hoping they make it to mature stage. The tamarillo is coming along a treat, and I wish the rest of the orchard was just a little bigger (a couple of acres would be a start!) and more established. This, too, will happen.

Speaking of feral, according to The Standard of December 13th 2003AD, our worst feral pests are:

Equal first, carp and rabbits; incalculable damage.

3. Cane toad.

4. Red-legged earth mite.

5. Fox.

6. House Mouse.

7. Sheep Blowfly.

8. Blackberry.

9. Serrated tussock.

10. Pacific Sea Star.

What an interesting and varied list! I tend to wonder what your top ten would be. The carp has taken over many of our inland waterways, and because of its habit of muddying water and eating the fry of our native fish, few of the natives are surviving. Mind you, it doesn't help when the river water is salty enough to pickle olives, either. That's as much our fault as the carp.

Rabbits, bless 'em, I've written about the devastation the little festers have caused. Same with cane toads. The red-legged earth mite is one of those beasties about which I know nothing, and am happy to share such wealth of information with you. Foxes - 'nuff said. House mouse - I have seen them on television news items in the same plague proportions as rabbits. Now, the sheep blowfly, there's a nasty piece of work and again, in their billions. That's why we have a tail docking programme for our sheep in Australia, and flystrike is a nasty business, especially when the animal infected is still alive.

Blackberries, like most of the above, have a benefit. But the fruit of blackberries is often seen as a poor trade for the misery of the farmer infested by them. Trouble is, the thornless variety is not nearly so good eating.

Serrated tussock. A nasty plant that likes making collections of skin as you pass by. Even wildfire can't always kill off this scourge.

The Pacific sea star we think was brought in on the bottoms of tanker and/or cargo ships. It munches anything on the sea bed that is vaguely edible, doing a marine version of carp.

Naturally, there are many other pests that we could happily live without, some of them local. I have yet to see the tourist's grin of delight hanging off a farmer's moosh as he sees his crops being devestated by kangaroos. And I am sure that our locusts are not imported. Neither are most of our politicians, any more.

The weather here has varied enormously, but yesterdays 28C was replaced by a far calmer 23 today. We are hoping like crazy for rain on the weekend, for we have desperate need, and the bushfire season is already upon us.

I've found a great way to get free seedlings - let the pigs do it for me. They burst open the various fruits and some make it to seedling stage, which I'm encouraging through judicious watering. We have what could be cucumber or melon, some peach or nectarine tree, pumpkin and plenty of tomato. Hopefully, they will be viable.

AUSSIE ENGLISH

BACK

'That part of a man's body that every other bastard ought to orf of.'

If you are requested to 'get off me back, will ya?', then get off it - stop worrying the man.

People who get on your back are people who 'lean' on you; who try to persuade you to do things you don't want to do; who nag at you; who harp on the subject of your deficiencies.

Wives frequently get on a man's back.

'See that hump on me back? That's me missus. She's been on it for years.'

BAG

Any unprepossessing female. But, since beauty is in the eye of the beholder, she who is a bag to one, may be a vision of delight to another.

It is not a good idea to refer to a woman as being 'an old bag' without first learning the other fellow's opinion of her. She may be his wife.

BAG OF FRUIT

A suit. An abomination which, with a tie, is still worn in Australia, even in summer. But the further north you go, the fewer will you see. And right up 'the top end', it would be difficult to find a man who owns one.

Resolutions

This year

I will try and not

get upset at things

that won't matter in ten years time

I will try and remember

how the other person must feel

I will believe more in myself and

accuse myself less

I will try and live for my comfort

rather than the comfort of others

I will learn one new skill -

for the fun of it.