More ads we guarantee you'll
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MALE OR FEMALE: FREEZER BAGS: They are male, because they hold everything in...but you can see right through them. PHOTOCOPIERS: These are female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm them up again. Plus, they are an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed...but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong buttons. TIRES: Tires are male, because they go bald easily and are often overinflated HOT AIR BALLOONS: Also a male object because to get them to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under their butt. SPONGES: These are female because they are soft, squeezable, and retain water. WEB PAGES: Female...because they're constantly being looked at and frequently getting hit on. TRAINS: Definitely male because they always use the same old lines for picking up people. EGG TIMERS: Egg timers are female because, over time, all the weight shifts to the bottom. HAMMERS: Male, because in the last 5000 years, they've hardly changed at all...and are occasionally handy to have around.THE REMOTE CONTROL: Female. You probably thought it would be male, but consider this: It easily gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know which buttons to push...he just keeps trying!
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Letters even Dear Abby couldn't answerDear Abby, A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. One is a middle-aged gym teacher and the other is a social worker in her mid twenties. These two women go everywhere together and I've never seen a man go into or leave their apartment. Do you think they could be Lebanese? Dear Abby, What can I do about all the sex, nudity, foul language and violence on my VCR? Dear Abby, I have a man I can't trust. He cheats so much, I'm not even sure the baby I'm carrying is his. Dear Abby, I am a twenty-three year old liberated woman who has been on the pill for two years. It's getting expensive and I think my boyfriend should share half the cost, but I don't know him well enough to discuss money with him. Dear Abby, I've suspected that my husband has been fooling around, and when confronted with the evidence, he denied everything and said it would never happen again. Dear Abby, Our son writes that he is taking Judo. Why would a boy who was raised in a good Christian home turn against his own? Dear Abby, I joined the Navy to see the world. I've seen it. Now how do I get out? Dear Abby, My forty year old son has been paying a psychiatrist $50.00 an hour every week for two and a half years. He must be crazy. Dear Abby, I was married to Bill for three months and I didn't know he drank until one night he came home sober. Dear Abby, You told some woman whose husband had lost all interest in sex to send him to a doctor. Well, my husband lost all interest in sex and he is a doctor. Now what do I do? Dear Abby, My mother is mean and short tempered I think she is going through mental pause. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ His request approved, the CNN News photographer quickly used a
cell phone to call the local airport to charter a flight. Arriving at the airfield, he spotted a plane warming up outside a
hanger. The pilot taxied out, swung the plane into the wind and took off.
"Why?" asked the pilot. "Because I'm a photographer for CNN," he responded, "and I need to get some close up shots." The pilot was strangely silent for a moment, finally he stammered, "So, what you're telling me, is...you're NOT my flight instructor?"
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